The Mindful Love Affair: Humans Need Islands / by Caitlin Krause

Since the New Year, I've had islands on the brain. At a recent conference, friends and I were playing around with Legos® during a design exercise, and we had to make up metaphors for what we came up with. What I pieced together looked like an island. With an imaginary pirate on it. And a palm tree. Is the metaphor so deep here? Was it getting colder, and here I was in arctic winter, ready for my tropical vacation? Today, in the aftermath of a snowstorm, temperatures registering record lows, many of us might wish to transport ourselves to some island paradise. I interpreted my island as something different, something both comforting and also challenging-- a duality that encompasses feeling as if we exist on our own islands, and/yet needing those islands, at times. 

From entrepreneurship to education, many of us can feel like we are in lonely professions. Why does it feel this way? Surrounded by action and activity, we can still feel very much alone and cut off in our pursuit of something that might feel elusive or even impossible. What are our true measures for success? What values do we stand by? What stakes have been raised, and by whom? Do we ever feel as if we're challenged to define our own sense of meaning, even and especially in midst of externally-defined demands and criteria for success that don't necessarily ring as authentic? We might find our own islands of meditation and peace, in these cases, inviting the internal truth to emerge in the quiet of solitude. Winter invites these moments, opportunities to deepen awareness that what we most need might be right here with us, waiting for its time to emerge.

From Brave New World to Moreau, the island is a theme that surfaces* in all tropes of literature, from canonical classics to pulp and camp. One of the first books I loved, Island of the Blue Dolphins, featured a female castaway, a shipwreck survivor who makes her way in a new home. The Invention of Morel also gripped me, for the beautiful words and their mystery, the symbolism of a story that combines romance, fantasy and surrealism in phantasmic proportion. Islands let us imagine that anything is possible. We already abandon expectations for whatever might be deemed "normalcy." We allow islands to create their own magic. We also understand their boundaries and limitations-- a pure device for creative constraint.

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Brave New World

"He's being sent to an island. That's to say, he's being sent to a place where he'll meet the most interesting set of men and women to be found anywhere in the world. All the people who, for one reason or another, have got too self-consciously individual to fit into community-life. All the people who aren't satisfied with orthodoxy, who've got independent ideas of their own. Every one, in a word, who's any one." - Brave New World

In this way, islands are an ideal mindfulness visual metaphor. They are a place for focus, relative isolation, expansive connections, and unbounded creativity. One has to imagine the same routine, day after day, on an island, and yet, within that limited scope, there's a certain freedom. One might be fighting for survival, or hoping for rescue or escape (think of plot lines for innumerable serials and films), and, much like the fan favorite Lost, the island can become a vehicle for characters confronting their own lives, backstories, psychologies. Ultimately, on the island, we face the self, over and over, and it's our chance to go beyond ourselves, too.

What do I mean by this? Lose yourself to find yourself. On an island, you can lose yourself, over and over, in the practice of letting go and forming a deeper relationship. We see Luke go to the island Ahch-To in the plot of Star Wars, on his own mission for re-centering and self-discovery. He goes in search of the first Jedi temple, and Rey comes to Ahch-To to find him and learn some Jedi truths of her own in the process. Their "training" in the arts of Jedi are not altogether different from a medley of practices associated with the ancient traditions of mindfulness. Even Yoda, appearing on the island, could very well be a stand-in for Thich Nhat Hanh on a vacation from Plum Village (imagine it, can you?). The Last Jedi involves themes of frailty, failure, and acceptance of authentic truths: that everything is connected, and part of life is its impermanence, and its acknowledgment of suffering and loss. This is one of Luke's ultimate lessons.  While the island is a place of refuge, it also represents clarity. All the "knowledge" needed is beyond books; beyond physicality. Knowing is internal, ephemeral, timeless, passed down in ways that are deeper than books, which are translations of truth. Knowing truth, knowing self, becomes a form of love.

Is the "island" a figurative division, or rather a way to imagine centering, for better ability to reach a certain wholeness, and to connect in a genuine way that feels as if it is pure, integrity-based, true-to us? We each know and seek that wholeness.

Island meditations incorporate mindfulness moments, this deepening of awareness that exists as we seek a truth resting in ourselves. Back to an even deeper loving relationship with the self we have always known, a self that waits for us, each day, to remember and dwell in that abiding love. A love that endures, for us and for those with whom we share life. After all, no human is an island, even if we need islands sometimes for peace, love, centering.

The poet Derek Walcott (also from an island, this one in the Caribbean) wrote a poem that is one of my Mindful Love Affair favorites. It is called, most appropriately, Love After Love. I share it now, in this new year, as an offering of island meditation, celebrating what will come, as 2018 spreads its arms wide:

LOVE AFTER LOVE

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

- Derek Walcott (1930-2017, St. Lucia)

Hear actor Tom Hiddleston read Love After Love on NPR:

 Islands can connect in community. From online networks to IRL links, the world is connected, collective consciousness.

Islands can connect in community. From online networks to IRL links, the world is connected, collective consciousness.